This morning I had to stay home to do some errand, while my wife sent kids for tuition. I offered her then to mop the floor, do the laundry, on top of my usual duty to clean the bathroom, which she quickly snapped it before I changed my mind. Wait… what? I thought her love language is NOT service?
Ever since my talk with God the last few days, the feeling of peace was not always there. Daily work problems, sometimes seem with no solution, would haunt me and rob my peace. Anxieties crept in again.
And I cried to God while mopping, why does it seem I cannot fend the worry off completely?
As I mopped the floor in living room, my sight captured the small card of God’s promise to Jacob. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I remember, there is a continuation: ‘I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you’.
Somehow on the back of my mind I used to feel a little uncomfortable with this verse, it sounds like, “I will not leave you temporarily”. Why didn’t He say, forever? Sounds more mellow and better.
But I missed the point!
Then I realized because the emphasize is on the part that ‘He is working on it’. Like, for example, if I leave my kids somewhere safe and I need to go buying food for them, and if I tell them, ‘I will not leave you until I get the food’, that doesn’t mean, I will leave them once I get the food. The point of the message is I am doing something and will get it done.
We are worried because we think that we are in control of our life. But that is an illusion. God is, and not us. We feel we have the right to control of our life. The question is are we willing to surrender that right to God? If after all, He is in control and He is working on it right now.
We are worried, because we worry if we delegate our worry to God, He would screw it up. We are worried if He is not that trustworthy.
God says though, leave your worry to Him, because He is working on it. And not only He wants us not to worry but to rejoice, and rejoice, and keep rejoicing.
Our worry is His part, our rejoice is our part. Much like, the favorite story of my church pastor, of Mary and Martha: ‘You worry with many things but only one is needful and Mary has chosen it’. As long as we want to claim the control, worry will always be with us. As long as we choose Jesus as our central of life, peace will be with us.
I think it would be a long learning journey for me to trust Him that He is better than me, He is not screwing up my life, He is working on it now, He is watching over me, He wants me not to worry but even to choose rejoicing in Him with the Joy of the Lord, He leaves His Shalom for me… and so on….
As sang in Sinach’s song: Even when I don’t see it, You’re working….
Pics: Two years ago my son did a doodle and Sheepography was very kind to redraw it into a very beautiful picture.
And ah, the joke of Martha: I had my friend2friend talk with God while doing chores.